Driving Tanks Drunk
So a clanmate of mine asked me to write a paper on “Drink and drive; All good reasons why you should”, and I was immediately sceptical.
For one thing, I am a Community Contributor, and expected to keep a bit of decorum. For another, intoxicants may increase your enjoyment of the game, but they won’t really increase your performance other than by chance.
But the main reason I felt sceptical was I didn’t really feel I had anything to say about it.
I am an adult. Middle aged, in fact. I will have a glass of Champagne on a Tuesday if I want to, and in fact I often do. A lot of my friends in the game are middle aged to, or even older, and most of them are well past their teenage forays into the world of alcohol.
I will sometimes have a few drinks and drive tanks. So will a lot of people. Not a lot to say.
Taking my job seriously, I considered the constructive angle. Could there be benefits to driving pixel tanks under the influence that I could explore? Not really, I concluded; beyond the fun factor. Again, not really a lot to say about it.
I am not going to waste my time or insult your intelligence by saying driving actual vehicles after a few drinks is a really bad idea, but driving imaginary ones might not be so bad, other than for your stats.
And other than your personal amusement, there aren’t a lot of benefits to drunk driving pixel tanks.
But what happened was, I had a few drinks and the Chieftain Mk. VI dropped yesterday, and I finally figured out if I bought enough crates with the free WG gold, I wouldn’t have to wait for them to add it to my account, so that’s what I did.
You may have seen my entirely predictable first impressions.
Anyway, I tried to hustle up some 1 on 1 acton among my clanmates, but got a hold of Xeno finally, and we rolled out to see what this British bias was all about.
It didn’t take very long.
Because the simple fact is I don’t care about British bias. I just don’t. I know how fast your Chieftain is, and I know how to take it down. That’s all I need to know; I am not interested in leaning the subtle intricacies and innate possibilities involved in driving it.
I got bored. I wasn’t having enough fun.
And it’s because the Chieftain is the entirely wrong tank for me; not because I can’t make it work, but because I don’t care enough about it to want to make it work.
All I kept thinking was “I wish I was in my Object 140”.
I fXcking love the 140. And the WZ-121. And even the WZ-113. The Foch (155). All the tanks I spent so much time and money grinding and gold noobing out because I couldn’t wait to drive them.
That is what I learned from driving tanks drunk today.
You can give me a few cocktails and a press account, and the tanks I drive are going to be the exact same ones I drive on my own account.
Especially the Object 140.
I realised I hadn’t bought myself a proper in-game present for my fairly significant recent birthday, so today I finally bought my first two tier X legendary camos. Can you guess which ones?
Yeah. One is the “Terror” camo for my 140. The other is the “Destroyer” camo for my Foch (155).
So there you have it people. Driving tanks after having a few may teach you something about the reason you play the game in the first place and what you enjoy about it, but it can also leads to questionable in game decisions: