How To Be an Elitist/Tank Philosopher


Elitism For The People




This paper is dedicated to my friend Psychovadge of the Vanguard clan. Check his thoughtful and informative videos out on youtube:



It could be said I am kind of resting on my laurels at this point, and that is I suppose what I am doing.

There is the inevitable plateauing of course. Learning takes afterthought. Even doing the right thing doesn’t always work, and messing up is easy. A million excuses.

But yeah. I think I have quite a bit to look back on and think about. Four years of playing after this summer. And I think I achieved everything I set out to achieve the day I finally decided I was going to git gud. I am in the finest clans on the EU server, probably in the world. I drove every tank I ever wanted to drive against some of the best players in the game, and I am proud to call many of them friends.

A lot of these people inspired me to do what I do, and although I still can’t match their skill, I do at least speak the same language they do now. This whole tank philosophy gig turned out to be a lot simpler than I thought it was going to be.

It’s just thinking about what you are doing. Reflecting on what happens around you. Trying to figure out what things are, how they work, and what they mean.

It’s a state of mind.

Some people call it elitism. Mostly other elitists. I’ve been called an elitist by some of the most elitist players in the game. It’s safe to say the self deprecating appropriation of the elitist label has been so thorough that trying to use the word “elitist” as an actual insult these days is completely pointless.

Amusing as this all is, it tells us something important. Philosophical tankers don’t take themselves too seriously. They don’t care about being called out on trying to be all flash, because it’s true and they already admitted to it.

But the defining mindset of a tank philosopher is being inquisitive. Doing research out of pure interest. Wanting to figure things out.

And then you want to talk to other people about it; share your findings and maybe get some feedback. Increase the collective knowledge of the community. Be an agent of change. A positive influence.

That’s when you know you’ve got it bad. Terminal elitism, we call it.

It’s easy to tell. You just take a look at the suspects garage.

Japanese tanks are a dead giveaway. They are all super elitist. Watch out for high battle counts in the Chi-Ri and STB-1. Also French tanks are super elitist. The more BatChats, Foches and autoloaders, the higher probability of elitism. If there is a premium AMX proto or a CDC, you know you have a winner.

Brit tanks are elitist, especially the Mediums. Churchill Gangstacarrier may be top of the quirk list, but solid stats in Centurions and Comets are more telling as far as elitism. You want to make sure? Check for the Bromwell. Does it have the historical camo?

No, the skill star is not elitist.

American and Russian tanks overall aren’t very elitist, but it depends on which tanks. The Yolo Wagon seen above is a good indicator of an elitist persuasion, as are the Light tanks and the KV-13. But Heavy tanks and campy TDs? Everyone drives those.

Not all tank philosophers care about premiums, but if they do, look for Mediums like the FCM 50t, the CDC, the Cosplay Panther and any premium Light tank. Contrary to popular belief, owning the M60 or any high tier crate tank does not in fact correlate with elitism either way, nor does the IS-5.


BatChat with “Musketeer” camo? Suuuper elitist.


So once you’ve diagnosed yourself, what do you do? Is there hope?

Of course there is. Tank philosophy is all about hope. Just keep driving tanks, find some kind of outlet for your philosophical work, and try to share it with others. You will find your rewards along the way.

If you think you are afflicted with elitism, or think you might want to be afflicted, don’t panic. Remember you are in good company. The best, really, but as I count among said company, my opinion on it may be slightly Russian.

In any case, I will offer two pieces of advice, becuase they are really all you need to get started. First of all, tank philosophy is super easy; it just takes time. Anyone can do what I do and be a famous tank philosopher; all it takes is putting in the work and a bit of perseverance.

Second, do yourself a favour and learn a bit about probability and statistics. It will help keep the worst symptoms of cancrackerism at bay, and also comfort you when Wargaming inevitably nerfs you again and puts you on the bad RNG list for a week.

Getting serious for a minute, nothing makes me happier than seeing other people out there hanging out in training rooms, checking stuff on blitz hangar or Armour Inspector, doing the research, testing, reviewing, writing, editing, or putting music to blooper reels. Spreading the wealth of knowledge.

Whatever your mode of expression, thank you for your contribution.

Tank philosophy Forever.


See you out there!


2 thoughts on “How To Be an Elitist/Tank Philosopher

  1. Yea, both French and Chinese tanks are dead giveaways. 🙂 China a bit unexpected in terms of elitism perhaps, but I think elitists just like the minimalist approach once in a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I’ve become more Elitist the longer I’ve played the game. In the beginning I played it safe and focused on grinding heavy tanks, preferably Russian or German. Nowadays I play French tanks a lot and am currently grinding both Chinese lines.I like a challenge.

    Liked by 2 people

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